Love and Hate
by SneakyWalrus
Summary: A collection of the various 'romantic' highs and lows of Zim and Tak's relationship, demonstrating how evil both these aliens can be. From torture, violence, mental and physical assault and worse, Tak and Zim are building towards the end, of themselves and the world itself. Remember, Tak and Zim are evil. Warning; Gore, Violence
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **Alright, due to a few recent reviews, I'm adding this part to the beginning. Mainly since I don't think the people reading have kind of understood this, I'm laying it out now.

The point of my writing it is to make it very clear that both Tak and Zim are evil, and if you think they're not, then you're wrong. They routinely assault Dib, both mentally and physically, commit horrific experimentation and vivisection on humans and are trying to destroy Earth.

Tak and Zim are Evil, and everything they do is pretty much evil. They are not to be looked up to, or considered 'good' character's in any sense of the are the villains. Please remember that.

* * *

><p>The day it begins is the day that she returns to class. A pit opens, another filthy worm child sent to whatever dimensional hell pit the thing in charge wishes, her disgusting boots trampling all over his planet – <em>His<em> – stomping out to _His _chair in _His _classroom.

A disgusting, filthy impudent creature with disgusting purple eyes and that horrific tube sticking out of her head and those beady little inserts that are _so much_ worse than his own. A mockery of teeth and flesh, hidden by lights and lasers, a terrible, disgusting creature.

He hates her.

Oh by Irk, by all the Tallest he seen, he's praised and served, he hates her.

The way she walks, stomping around like she's _so much better_ than every other mewling, disgusting pig creature that waddle the Skool, with her rugged boots kicking and crushing those pork digits that the vile, rotten humans wriggle around with.

The way she pushes and shoves and scowls at them, like _she's better_ _than them_, digital lights and solid energy covering her claws, beneath glove and light, knocking them down into the foul, tainted muck that they live in. Not even caring if they get up, or their bodies are wrecked, or their flesh is peeled off like some kind of fruits. Nor when she tries to take control of the Skool yard, with her mind and her sickening, repugnant eyes with their flashes and their colours.

Even when she thrashes the Dib, she's still a horrifying, revolting, filth-encrusted, repellent, _icky_, trash creature. More so than any of the humans, she's the ugly one, the dirty one. Crawling with not just the germs or the bugs or the filth, but because she's an Irken, and she knows that she's filth and she'll always be filth because it's written into her very code.

Oh, the blood on her fists and face when she pummels the monkey creature into the dirt, ichor across her ugly face. It's hideous and disgusting and vile and worst of all, he can see it happening.

He hates her.

The way the Skool rallies around her when she stomps on the Dib's soft, wriggly, wormy claws, laughing at the boy and his broken glasses. The way he yells and screams at her, bashing her across the face like he knows how to fight or to kill or to even _hurt her_ properly.

It's disgusting that he even tries. Even more so when she doesn't even fight back, the entire Skool yard howling like some kind of side dish to the primordial ooze that they crawled out of, yelling and punching and beating the Dib. Even when he jumps in, punching and swinging and clawing at them, each of them, all of them, he knows that she knows what she's doing to him.

So when he finally rakes his claws over the eyes of some pitifully little insect, clawing and baying to wring and stretch and stroke her thick neck and gnaw and tear and rip at her antenna, cutting and pulling her flesh and eating her irksome bones, she'll know what she did.

But he's an invader. The telemetry and the beeps and the endless lines of code deep inside his brain tell him that, no matter whatever the primitive readings that come to him say. He was _is _an invader, and no code can ever rewrite that.

So when he finally scuttles his way over the mound of mewling children, she thinks she knows what to expect. That he'll fight and hurt and bite, because that's what he would do, _what she would do to him_.

But he's better than that, and he'll show her why he's _better than her_, so much _better_, because he knows how to truly show how low and how filthy and how _disgusting_ she is.

He lifts her up off the ground, arms wrapped around her neck. Her thin, easily choked neck. Brushes down her stained jacket, rubbing his finger on his tongue and wiping away some off the dust on her cheek and gouging straight through her jaw. Finally, and she knows that he knows that she is reeling and writhing and _twitching_ under his gentle touch, he pulls her in close to him, with his head under her jaw and sings praises to how good she is, like she's some kind of _Tallest_, like he's admitting she _better _than him when they both know she's not.

The way the crowd of humans coo and aw at her is the most degrading, the most unimaginably grand insult he can lay on her, because now they think she is _weak_ and _small _and that she needs _Him. _

But most importantly, she knows that he knows that she wants to be _Just. Like. Him_.

So she smiles, bends her head and she lays her lipless mouth onto his own like she _actually cares_ for him, and he feels her razor tongue flick across his own and cut him open, turning the inside of his mouth into a carnal mess.

And the humans have no idea that they hate each other, because humans don't _hate_, not like you're suppose to, not like Irkens _Hate._ They're so caught up in the _Love _and the _Passion_ and the _Romance _that they think that the two might actually love each other. 

So they hold hands and they hug and every pathetic, mewling, s_ickly, Pathetic, Worthless **Human**_ thinks that there go the two happiest children in Skool, because they _Love_ each other.

They don't notice the claws digging into each other, the pink fluid as it drips from their closed hands, stabbing one another through the skin and muscle, begging the other to cry out so they can speak up and offer _love_ to the other. Instead they see the pair wander about holding hands like some cute couple from the mindless, mass-produced dreck they endlessly consume.

They don't see the subtle twitches of agony that runs up their limbs as they kick each other so hard that their own irksome bones crack; just in order to hurt the other. How each of them staggers and hisses at themselves, because they can't even walk due to the sheer agony from their shattered limbs. Instead they see lovers that can't bear to be parted, that can't stand without the support of the other.

And then, in the months that come, they don't see as they try to kill the other, the sheer agonizing hate that the have for one another driving them to it. In the darkness they roll and they bite and the pull and they cut and the hurt, because that is what Irkens do when they hate one another.

Not like one hates a lesser creature, like a human would some beast, or some food or one another.

No, Irkens hate one another with such passion that one can only hate themself with. Like a human would love another, that is how Irkens hate. With bloody bites instead of light touches, with violent, horrific scars instead of gentle memories, with one standing over the mangled corpse of the other instead of slowly growing old together.

And they both know it'll come.

How it'll end.

One day, she'll stand over his own body because she is bigger than him, stronger than him, that she is a she, and that is how Irkens are supposed to work, and then she'll die. Because that is what Irkens do. They hate, they consume and they die, only for it to happen again.

But for now, they'll hate one another on this disgusting mud ball. They'll fight and they'll bleed and they'll curse one another, they'll hate and scream bloody murder at one another.

Because Tak and Zim hate one another.

And they would have it no other way.


	2. Chapter 2

The first time it happens, Zim freaks out. Not to the usual extent, which mostly results in either general yelling or screaming or at least one person left disfigured for the remained of their natural life, which also results in them getting increasingly bullied by their own human Skool mates, forcing them to move away out of sheer self-hatred and guilt caused by childish harassment.

No, Zim's reaction to when he feels someone trying to kick his feet under the table is to immediately jump up on said cafeteria table and scream loudly into the person directly across from him, issuing threats of destruction, mutilation and sever bodily harm. Which in this instance would be the disgusting, hideous cow girl who should be dead, Tak. Now, in any other scenario, this would be treated with the usual due diligence of those fellow Skool mates of his, who, having lost multiple class members to an individual rightfully recognized as the freaky kid who makes people disappear, which would usually be tact annoyance.

But this was Tak. The supposedly popular, rich, well dressed, 'first-among-plebs' figure inside the Skool hierarchy, who was noted among the general Skool as an individual '_in love_ with her boyfriend Zim. So they taunt them, as Skool kids are want to do in such scenarios, one particular girl going so far as to call both of them gross for playing 'footsies' at Skool.

Two days later her cat goes missing. A week later, the meatless remains of its fur are found in a dumpster.

It's this reaction, this mention of an unnoticed activity or cultural action that intrigues him. So they next lunch break, the following day, Zim sits in front of his supposed '_girlfriend_' and boots her as hard as he can under the table. Watching her face scrunch up in agony, the jolts of pain sparking up her leg are hilarious, if not for the sour reactions gathered by those around her.

Some of those socialites Tak keeps around as meat puppets, who would dance, fight or even consume parts of their own flesh as blood runs down their chins, minds screaming as the do so, bark and hiss, comparing Zim to some kind of fool.

But they never call him an idiot. Not with Tak there. Not straight to his face, not anymore. They know, even if it's some vague recollection of a lost pet or a 'random accident' that befell a beloved friend, not to start it like that. No, they go for the sharpest insult of all. The call him a bad _boyfriend_ and how he _shouldn't_ treat Tak like that, how he doesn't know how to _play_ the game.

In their minds, it's the safest rebuke they can give. In Zim's, it's a threat to his mission's very creditability. In Tak's, it's a chance for revenge.

The next time it happens, he gently kicks her, like 'Humans' are supposed to do. Like he actually cares or likes her, rather than wanting to yank his boot back and step on her face. She kicks his leg so hard the bone breaks, and he's left to wander the rest of the day on a snapped limb, the agony sending him silently screaming.

Again and again, the pair spend every day building up to the next encounter, investing in hardened plating, nano-woven guards and spikes coated in micro-disassemblers, an arms race over the childish game of footsies played between aliens who hate each other.

As time goes on, they begin to establish a routine; first it begins with a touch, a tapping against the ankle. Some would think it'd be a cute, if risqué for a pair of love-struck children. They're testing if the other has any substantial defenses around the weaker joints in both skeletal structure and armour position.

Then, they move to light kicking, booting and scraping along the shin of the other. To some, this may seem like a heart melting moment, where to young children pass beyond the realm of 'puppy love' and into a love that they will carry for a long time yet. In fact, they're simple lining up spikes and catches, creating in their minds eye a view of what their opponent wears beneath the table.

Finally, they start simple smacking one another as hard as they can. Some finesse may come and go, like an unfolding heel jammed through her foot, or an explosive tipped spike jabbing into his ankle. At this point, those dim-witted Humans still watching might have an inkling something is wrong, but if they actually focused on either Irken for that long, they'd probably be a still-breathing, endlessly screaming chunk of organs in either one's lab.

The worst part however, is the faces. Both start with the most sickening, sappiest face they can wear, trying to portray _love_ and _want _and _feelings_ about the other. The figurative love hearts floating between them, and in doing so, pretty much fooling any body that passes a glance over them.

_'Oh, there go Zim and Tak, the love birds'_

Disgusting.

But the longer they go on, the more those faces fray. First the teeth are bared, a sickening grimace. The antennas lower, twitching in time to every shift in movement. Fists clench, each trying to crush the held hand of their _lover_. In the end, only their eyes are left, still staring at one another as they kick as furiously as they can at one another.

It's a game they play, taking something fun and almost _romantic_, and turning it into a violent conflict between one another. The winner limps away in pride, the loser crawls away crippled.

It took Dib a week before he learned to put Gaz between him and them.

It took him another week before he ran out of potential bribes to keep her there.

He doesn't sit next to Tak or Zim anymore.


	3. Chapter 3

After months of dedicated study, continued experimentation, vivisection and dissection, repeated outings into public and private educational systems around the planet, Tak had reached a rather obvious conclusion as to the general usefulness and intelligence of humanity.

They were possibly one of the most self-centered, greedy, arrogant, disgusting, foul appearing species in the universe she'd ever had the unfortunate nature of encountering. They took rests when they should've worked, they fought and feed over bizarre beliefs and customs that any sane species would have abandoned centuries ago and, worst of all, was their height.

They grew tall, into a sickening pervious of what was right in the universe. For Irkens, height was everything, just as it was for the rest of the universe (after the Irkens enforced that belief, that is). Even worse was their celebrations of this, like each of them was special and unique, rather than the mass-produced pink worm-beasts that they were.

The Tallest decided when celebration was, not anyone else. When they said to be happy, Irkens were happy. When they said 'be sad', Irkens were sad. When they wanted to set someone on fire and make everybody watch as the squib melted to death in front of their fellow soldiers, then the Irkens would watch and laugh alongside the Tallest.

It was only though force of will and rewritten code that she bit her tongue and vaguely nodded along with the other children when they bickered and flocked to one another, mewling and pawing at each other over some sickening display.

But when one of the crowd of mind-numbed sycophants that trailed behind her like a herd of mentally deficient Vorts spoke up, bleating like the inferior creature that it was, she reacted. Some vague taunting and pseudo-aggressive positioning within the crowd, making reference to her _boy friend_.

Oh did she suffer, mind pulped to something akin to a freshly squeezed infant for that infraction. She screamed too, when Tak finally lifted the consistent pulses from the worm beast's primitive mind, thrashing and screaming like Dib in the midst of one of his 'fits'.

And then it happened again. The posturing, the infantile snapping at her position, the vague gestures and implications as to her statues and _relationship_ with her _boy friend_. Constantly, no matter how many she dissected and punished, they kept snipping like an Irken would, pushing and prodding, digging for weakness and vulnerability.

She hates it. How they sing about the pair sitting in some leafy creature and_ touching_ and sickening things. About how when they hold hands, it's so _romantic_ and _beautiful_. About that time when Zim knocked one of Dib's teeth out during some pointless struggle, that he did it for _her. _

But worst of all is _him_. How he struts about like he knows what he's doing, like he has any idea what all this _touching _and _feelings_ and _caring_ is doing to her. How when he tries to hold her like they _love each other_, he's the victor when she cracks his bones and shatters his internal circuits, like when they sit together during the mandatory foodening and she completely crushes his feet, stabbing straight through his armour like nothing, that he's the one who comes out on top.

Zim is an idiot. He's a completely useless invader, not fit to bear the coding inside his head, not fit to wield absolute authority that is awarded to their station, a walking disaster made manifest.

And worst of all, he has no idea what he's doing. When they're pushed together in some cultural conquest to another section of the planet, he can't hear the jeers and the subtle jabs at him, like it doesn't crush him inside like it should.

They insult him, and he lets them. Oh, not completely, with the experiments and the vivisections and mutilation, but underneath that, she knows that he doesn't understand, that he doesn't care that they're insulting him.

Like some kind of _inferior_ being!

An Invader is suppose to be violent, to be brutal, to crush everything in front of her and grind it beneath her heels!

He's suppose to hate them! He's suppose to crush them, to kill them! To conquer and consume and kill! To be like her!

So she'll side along with him, playing the role in their violent game, if you could call it that. More akin to a cat playing with a broken rat, toying with it, till it finally realizes that it'll die as nothing more than a plaything for it's betters.

When they're together in the quiet moments, she'll punish him for his failures, stab and bite his flesh, tear apart his mouth with her razor tongue every time they kiss, sear his flesh every moment she can. When they roll and hurt in the dark, knives flashing in the moonlight and sinking deep into flesh, jagged metallic limbs clicking and hunting one another, it'll all be a punishment for his failure as an invader.

Because Zim is an idiot, and he can't see the most obvious thing in front of him.

And for that, he has to be punished.


	4. Chapter 4

Compared to Irkens, Humans have a multitude of various events, festivals and celebrations that seem not just strange, but down right absurd compared to not only the various Irken celebrations, but also such celebrations seen throughout the universe. The most prominent of these, in the mind of Tak, would be the conceptual idea of having 'Birthdays' for individual Humans as a means of celebrating their continued growth and existence on the dreary mud-ball that they called a planet.

In the face of (in the mind of Tak, and therefore similar to the greatest minds Irkens, _naturally_) this bizarre event, Tak considered what she was actually attending. The conceptual idea and actual implementation of 'Birthdays' was a rather ineffectual method of celebrating one's own growth, purely for their focus on age and existence rather anything near actual accomplishments. Even stranger was the fact that Humans existed in a self-imposed government where individuality and uniqueness was practically crushed beneath the iron heel of those in charge (which in itself, was a good thing), in order to create faceless drones to continue fueling a system that exists to crush down the person into nothing more than a cog in the machine that was government.

Of course Irken's, naturally superior as they were, lacked anything along those lines. Celebration came from achievement, not simple age. Tak herself measured the singular celebratory dates ranging from being an Invader, leaving planet Dirt and that one time she managed to drive a Pak-leg through Zim's right eye, forcing him to regrow it over the course of a few days.

So when she receives an invitation to some pathetic worm-child's 'birthday party', she almost dismisses it out of hand, purely by cultural ignorance. But, as a true Invader, she knows that to do so may jeopardize her position among the Skool hierarchy, thus forcing her to attend.

Some useless sack of meat calling for her attendance, the constant sniping and back-chatter among the young females almost akin to the constant Irken conversation, if lacking in the physically threats and comparisons of height, forcing her hand in the matter.

Apparently, the young girl called Gretchen invited the rest of her classmates, consisting of the rest of the class to her birthday event, ranging from those who fit into the normal category to the more absurd. And by absurd, Tak meant that she had even gone so far as to invite both Zim (as either a snipe at her for being his 'Girlfriend' or simply kindness) and Dib, although whether either would attend was an interesting question.

So, as she plodded along to attend this obscene event, she found herself dragging along a rather reluctant Zim, still vaguely fighting and kicking as his own internal wiring systems released various nano-materials to reinforce his shattered legs (where Tak had shattered them in order to make him attend, of course). Behind her, and her struggling 'Boyfriend', Dib was following on, apparently trying to be sneaky by jumping and diving from bush to bush.

The pair of green-skinned aliens, passing down the rocky street, slowly began to match their step, hands intertwining and their grimaces forming into kind smiles, each falling into the usual lie of _love _and _kindness_ to the other, the now-common lie of pretending to actually cared for one another, Zim's legs finally realigning themselves, bleeding holes having being practically reknitted themselves over the course of the short walk from his base to Gretchen's home.

As Zim looked up at his girlfriend, Tak could feel his dim mind churning, vaguely imagining the smell of smoke pouring out of his Pak as he tried to think for once. Yanking down hard on her hand as the building came into view, he tried to pull her down as the few other children outside the building took notice of the pair, attempting to planet a kiss on her cheek.

Not one to be lower to his height, Tak remained tall, forcing Zim to actually lean upwards to kiss her cheek, his green skin prickling and shifting colour, anger bubbling beneath his false face at her insult to his height.

Pushing past the gathered children, they politely knocked on the door. A scant few seconds later, a young worm-child with strange purple hair and a metallic jaw line answered, drawing them into the household, issuing friendly greetings and such. Behind the pair of Irkens, the door slammed closed, knocking Dib back as he tried to enter, giving him a bloody nose.

Shuffling into the building, the pair simply stood by one another, still holding the other's hand tightly, as the small hours passed by, observing the actual spectacle of 'Birthdays'.

Some kind of sweet beverage was served, a point in the event's favour, alongside a type of cake, covered in a mud-like substance, also made of excessive sugar. So far, the 'Birthdays' seemed relatively acceptable by Irken standards, if lacking a decent reason for its occurrence.

Then came the giving of gifts, as each of the children passed brightly wrapped boxes to the central Gretchen child, each filled with some kind of gift. Back towards the wall, Tak activated her Pak, micro-fabricators instantly replicating some vague gift for a meat-based product, wrapping it in a small box and colourful wrapping. Handing it over with a single hand, she watched as her 'boyfriend' struggled to do the same, a minor box filled with some artificially spun chocolate as a gift.

Beyond that, the pair waited and watched, vaguely noting the various cultural interactions and how best to exploit them, the fumbling Dib passing across some bizarre science thing to the worm-baby and some sniping at his existence. Naturally, the pair of Irken's joined in, each leveling their own insults at the human before falsely laughing to hid their hatred of the human.

Soon, after a relatively length period of time, the pair remained standing in the corner, as the Human's ambled about like the dimwitted animals they were, before one announced the intention to perform some kind of games event.

Usually, Irken games involved a few vindictive Tallest, undertones of complete dominance and subservience, with the slightest touch of indiscriminant violence. Human games, on the other hand, involved paper and childish chanting.

The final game however, beyond some strange parcel based event, in which Zim managed to slam Dib across the head with said parcel, causing some minor negative reactions among the assembled, was related to a bottle. A few hours of minor research had prepped Tak for this outcome, but it appeared Zim had forgone such activities (more proof of his incompetence as an Invader), mostly due to her beating the living hell out of him prior to attending.

So when the bottle was placed among the circle of children and spun, Tak felt slightly vindicated when she watched Zim getting more and more disgusted as the game went on, his face turning pale at the thought of humans touching each other and sharing their filthy germs. After spinning it herself, Dib spun it, sending it swirling on point before landing on the one individual he despised most, Zim.

Amid the shouts of rage, the giggling of children and the disappointed smile of the 'Birthday' child, Tak came to a brilliant idea. Signals pulsed between their Paks, drilling Zim into obedience with the thought of utterly humiliating his rival, horrific grins passing across each Irken's face and causing Dib to step back in shock, before both Tak and Zim rushed at him, seizing both his arms and dragging him into the dark room behind them, ignoring the shouts and shrieks of the gathered children.

Slamming the door closed, the pair jumped the boy, fists colliding with his body, turning his pink flesh dark and bruised, teeth sinking into his limbs and bite marks lining his shoulders. Standing in front of the boy, Zim placed his mouth on Dibs, pushing him back into Tak as she ran her mouth along the edge of his shoulders.

Swirling his barbed, snake-like tongue across the Human's, Zim occasionally punched the boys gut, forcing air for his weak lungs and making the boy lean further into the kiss, before tossing him off with a sickeningly loud cackle and into Tak, who repeated the event, smashing the boy's stomach and wrapping her razor tongue around his, causing his mouth to openly bleed. Standing behind Dib, Zim repeated Tak's previous ministrations, his short height forcing him to run his teeth across the humans lower back, jutting his head beneath boys arms and sinking his zipper-like teeth into Dib's ribs.

Eventually, the pair tired of treating the boy like some frightened animal, their horrific cackling echoing out from beneath the door, tossing him out into the assembled group of children and slamming the door closed again, ignoring the shocked faces and sickly, skittish laughter passing between the group of humans. Jumping on one another, they wrapped their lips together, still laughing into the others mouth, the expression on Dib's face, flustered, confused and maybe even attracted sending the pair of Irkens into manic giggles.

Pushing Zim against the wall, Tak forced his mouth open and his tongue around his, pulling at it, her tongue's razor sharpness battling Zim's own, pinkish blood leaking from both their mouths. Pushing back, his Pak bracing itself against the wall, he knocked back into her, still wrapped around her, disguises practically falling apart, her cloak fading and Zim's rudimentary wig pulled off.

Lying on the floor, the pair rolled across one another, laughter still echoing through the small room, teeth dragging across each others limbs and tongues still wrapped around each other, the sight of a lesser creature, shocked at the actions of their betters, sending the Irken's into fits of laughter. For what seemed like an absurd length of time, they laughed, before eventually readjusting their disguises and exiting the room giggling, pushing through the crowd of gathered children.

Passing by Dib as the exited, they practically collapsed in fits of laughter, barely holding each other up as the wobbly walked away from the purple haired child's house, still giggling. Eventually arriving back at Zim's base, they collapsed on to his couch, faint giggles still passing through their lips. Yanking down one of the numerous cables dangling from the ceiling, Zim jammed it into his Pak, a multitude of screens rapidly fabricating before the pair's eyes, replaying the scene from Zim's perspective.

Jamming another cable into her own Pak, Tak added her own view, re-watching the event again and again through both their eyes, re-experiencing the event from the other's view, laughing as they did. Cackling into the night, the pair spent the remainder day laughing at Dib's misfortune and their own violent confrontation, before Tak bashed Zim upside the head with the cable and wandered back to her own base, taking a copy of Zim's memories to supplement her own, the amusement of torturing the human taking precedence over her own hatred of Zim.

For a greater laugh, she wiped the memory from the minds of every human who attended the next day, leaving Dib in a flustered state with no means of explaining it to the rest o his fellow classmates, his ranting about some vague party that nobody but he could remember making him look like an even greater freak in the eyes of his class mates. Needless to say, both Irken's enjoyed his frantic ramblings about an event that nobody could even remember.


	5. Chapter 5

Passing by the low wrought-iron fence, Dib lazily wandered into the skool yard, the congregation of fellow humans, even ones who basically existed to torment him and continuously deny his entire life's work in the field of paranormal studies, gathering and meandering across the dead grass, taking brief moment before skool began in neither joy nor misery, vague acceptance the fuzzy thought lingering in the children's minds.

The various social groups were present, ranging from the almost institutional groups of 'popular' children to rejected outcasts, the mere concept refined and developed to extensive lengths by the surrounding media, made even more popular by the 'Membrane Skool variety hour: How you have to fit in, and if you don't, we'll all hate you!' show, something that Dib was obviously rather annoyed with, and not just because they made the token dorky kid look exactly like him.

Gaz was always vindictive like that. Honestly, sacrifice a few gummy rabbits to one or two dark gods in her room, and suddenly _you're_ the bad guy and she just _has _to go to day and get you put in a cartoon in order to get revenge.

Stepping up to the main entranceway, the slight flashing of purple in the background, a similar sight to the boy, caught his eye. Dashing into motion, Dib attempted to jump over the short staircase leading up into Skool, flipping head over heels before landing in a crouching position, one arm punched into the earth while another held out to the side, just like he' practiced after seeing it on tv far to many times to be healthy.

Across the playground, a vaguely recognizable figure was towering over the multitude of fellow class mates, pearly eyes flashing as pitiful human minds where wiped, filling their heads with the knowledge that the Irken performing it desired. Stomping up to the strangely taller girl, he shouted at the back of her head, making her jump in shock.

"Get away from them you alien monster!"

The only response was Tak spinning around to face him, leaving the young human in front of a being that couldn't possibly be Tak. A few inches taller than he had previously noted, her face had become his, slender cheekbones and pale skin giving an aura of attractiveness to the now male Irken. Flicking his head, a few dangling threads of darkish purple hair flapping, the boy leaned forward, towering over Dib, clear, handsome face and wicked smile shoved directly in Dib's own.

Swallowing heavily, Dib moved to step back, face bright red, only for Tak to step forward as well, directly into Dib's personal space. Raising a gloved hand, the boy pushed Dib backwards again, ignoring the ringing Skool bell, the surrounding Skool children standing blank eyed, minds gone.

"What's the matter Dib? Never seen a real man before?"

His thick voice weighed heavy on Dib's ears, sounding harsh and husky to him, his face turning an even darker red than before. Another push, and Dib tripped backwards, Tak towering over him. Dressed an almost exact replica of her clothes from the previous day, a tight jacket was wrapped around her body, _holographic Dib, its a hologram, not real! _Illustrating an almost muscular body beneath. Stepping heavily on Dib's chest, the Tak continued, bending down to stare at the boy.

"Obviously not then."

Pulling him up, Tak smashed his face into the other boy's, mashing his false lips with Dib's, thick and heavy. Heat bloomed across Dib's face, his faint struggling ebbing away in contrast to the sheer toxic force of the taller boy kissing him. Limbs feel limp, and a moment later, Dib had closed his eyes and pushed into Tak's own face, matching the boy's ferocity with his own, confusion at his reaction blossoming in the faint far reaches of his mind.

_Stop it man, you're a paranormal investigator for Science's sake! They don't kiss aliens, they dissect them! I don't enjoy this! … Right? _

Almost to quickly, they separated, rough claws of someone shorter than Dib pulling him away from the boy, a faint dribble running from his mouth. Opening his eyes, he was greated by the viciously smirking Tak, his own razor sharp tongue winding across his lips, until the colours blurred and he was spun on the spot, greeted with the sight of another attractive figure.

Standing a few inches shorter than him, a young girl of exotic nature, her emerald skin practically radiant in the excessive sunlight was scowling furiously at him, a faint blush highlighting her cheeks. Cutely, she pouted, her eyelashes fluttering and cherry red lips quivering, in rage or sadness, Dib had no idea, watching the girl open her mouth to let out a squeaky screech.

"Tak_kkkkk_"

_Oh god, please tell me that isn't who I thin-_

The husky voice answered from behind him.

"Hey Zim."

Leaning forward, pushing Dib off to the side, Tak planted another kiss directly on the short green girls lips, razor tongue flickering between their lips. Reaching up, the dark haired girl wrapped her hands around the taller boys head, pulling him deeper into the kiss, a moment later running one gloved hand along the side of his face tenderly, gently stroking the side of her face.

A slight tremor passed through the purple-coated boy, from disgust or deeply hidden pleasure, Dib couldn't tell, causing him to wrap the gloved hand in his own pallid one, before running another hand through the girls dark hair, almost violently pulling at her hair, dragging her deeper into his mouth. Almost an infinite moment later, the pair separated, inhaling deeply, chests heaving with the effort each put into the moment.

Looking back at Dib, the girl practically snorted with suppressed laughter at the incredulous look on his face, mouth still hanging open. Past her now smeared make-up, crimson lipstick still smearing the taller boy's lips, the dress she wore was the same bright pink that Dib had seen her wearing the previous day, but much longer in length and complete with a number of almost jagged engravings detailing the hem, a number of long-lashed triangular skulls grinning as mercilessly as the girl herself. Beneath that, skin tight pants and heavy black boots, unchanged from before complemented her elbow-length gloves, versatile and thick, made of material so advanced that it would even outlast the destruction of the very planet.

Turning away from Dib in a cute huff, she reached a hand towards the metallic backpack joined to her body, a spider-like limb spiking outwards carrying a small compact, the emerald girl flicking it open to show a small mirror, inspecting her face. Clicking her tongue, she grabbed a small tube of crimson lipstick from her back, another leg jutting out, holding it for her. Opening her mouth wide, she ran it around her lips, restoring them to their unsmudged state before kissing lightly.

Closing it, she turned to the two boys, Dib still completely shocked and Tak standing nonchalantly, glancing almost wistfully at the girl's lips. Stepping forward, Tak swung an arm around Zim's shoulder, leaning in and whispering something into her non-existent ears. Giggling, she grabbed his hand, and the pair headed towards the Skool.

Almost halfway there, Tak half-turned, Zim leaning deeply into his side, and raised a hand. A synthetic click came from his fingers, obviously reproduced by some technology, freeing the rest of Dib's classmates from their induced silence.

Following the now rushing class, Dib was set in a state of confused melancholy. He'd been kissed by Tak. A male Tak who had, just the other day, kicked him in the shins with something spiky and somewhat poisonous, considering he had to have it replaced by another vat-grown replacement in his father's lab. A Tak who had just now shoved his tongue past Dib's lips, and not only left his mouth intact and ungored, but actively wrapped his own around Dib's, almost daring Dib to push back and take the kiss further.

Something was wrong here, and he intended to find out what. And see why the girl-turned-boy had kissed him.

Oh, and do something about that heartburn he was feeling. Surely Tak must of done something fowl to him, in order to make his chest thump like that, right?

All throughout the day, Dib continued to sneak furtive glances at both Tak and Zim, watching the pair act in some extremely false 'lovey-dovey' manner, passing notes and trading longing glances at each other. Even Zim went as far as to forget to experiment on her fellow classmates, and Tak avoided deliberately making them walk into walls for her own amusement.

Instead they just … well … sat there making eyes at each other.

To be honest, Dib was rather annoyed at the whole thing, a dull pulse in his chest a clear and obvious sign of how much he was getting bored at watching either of them sneaking glances at each other, or either nipping the other slightly on the cheek, or completely ignoring him at every turn.

It was down right infuriating. But, come the midday, he finally thought he'd cracked the secretly evil plan that Zim was up to. Obviously something to do relating to the female sex of humanity, probably planning some wickedly terrible experiment to mutate them all in to hideous Gaz monsters or something. Ignoring the dark flash of malevolent evil from his sister, he quickly followed Zim as she pushed out of the Skool cafeteria, quietly keeping pace as the Irken headed towards the girls toilets before jumping in behind her, a triumphant tone in his voice.

"I know what you're up to Zim, and you won't get away with it!"

In this moment, he was victorious, straight backed and finger pointing directly at Zim's face. It came as a surprise then, when Zim, _Zim of all people_, smiled bashfully at, her green skin flushing with colour. Stepping forward, the smaller alien leant up to peck Dib on the cheek, leaving a crimson mark on his flesh and Dib stunned for the second time today.

Then, a flash of the regular Zim cracked through as he pushed Dib up against the wall of the girls bathroom, leaning up on her toes to push her mouth into his, crimson lips pressing forcefully, desperately, against the young boys. Still shocked, Dib reacted without thought; bring his own arms up around her shoulders, pulling the girl in tighter, their eyes closed and forcefully pressing against one another, her own sugary lips against his salty ones.

Licking her lower lip, his tongue collided with Zim's, tangling with the bloody red, razor-sharp worm, his own interlocking with Zim's, fighting for control. Almost immediately, he lost the fight, Zim pushing into his mouth, tongue sliding across his teeth even as it struggled with his own, a feeling of bizarre, thunderous beats echoing inside Dib's chest as a result.

Breaking apart, Dib was left panting, while Zim quickly fled the room, rushing out into the hallway and away to where she wished. Almost immediately after, another girl from some random classroom entered, before screaming and pushing Dib out, a number of girls waiting outside kicking at him as he fled.

More confused than before as the Skool bell rang, signaling the end of the day, Dib slowly wandered out of the class, ignoring the spiteful looks smattered across the female class member's faces, pushing out to the front of the Skool, mind still churning.

First Tak, then Zim. Both of them kissed him, and neither offered anything akin to a descent explanation _Hell, no explanation at all! _As far as Dib was concerned at this point, it was just another crumby day to go home and forget about for a few minutes before obsessively detailing it in full on his laptop.

Walking down the stairs, he pushed past the frozen student, only to pass and check their expressions. Completely blank, drool gathering at the corners of their mouths, eyes empty of anything approaching thought.

Twisting around, he pushed past another student, seeking the figure he knew would be at the source of this. Darting around the back of the Skool, into the courtyard, he skidded to a halt.

Balanced atop the red brick wall at the end of the completely empty courtyard, sat Tak and Zim, arms wrapped around each other, faces pressed together and heavy breathing audible from the other side of the court. Each leant into the other deeply, arms touching and holding tightly, claws digging into one another, momentarily pulling apart briefly with tongues still tied together and saliva hanging from their lips.

Zim's make-up was smudged all across both her and Tak's lips, the bloody crimson colouring making it look as if the had been sharing blood rather than spit, while tongues of razor sharpness tangled and fought one another, pulling at each other for dominance. Almost paralyzed, Dib managed to take another step forward, only for both Tak and Zim to crack a single eye open, glaring at his interruption before returning to each other, so deeply invested in their contact that neither cared to even respond to Dib's intrusion.

Another step, and the hologram around Tak faded, the toned body of a young man fading away to leave Tak's true Irken body, complete with her thick eye lashes, curled antenna and metallic tube driven through her skull. As he took another, Zim acted as well, pulling off his thick wig, straightened antenna wiggling and removing his massive contacts, still engaged to take in a furious battle of tongues.

Methodically, he took another step, his mind shouting vague and completely ignored warnings, screaming futilely to run or gather evidence or anything but gawking with tears at the corners of his eyes, watching the pair as he came closer and closer. Again, he stepped forward, this time, Tak responding by forcefully grabbing one of Zim's antennae, he sharp claws flexing it in her hand, the pressure and power of her touch making Zim whimper into her open mouth.

They broke apart briefly; only for Tak to grab the other antennae and pull him straight back towards her waiting lips. In response, Zim pulled her backwards, tumbling off the red brick wall, landing heavily on Zim's back, Tak still holding him tight.

Finally stopping, Dib stood before the pair of Irkens. Rolling, Zim bit into her tongue, pinkish ichor running free and staining the tarmacked court, Tak responding by pulling back and head butting the smaller alien, cracking his head open and bouncing it off the floor. Panting, they rolled apart, both turning to look directly at Dib, horrifically cruel smiles on their faces.

Horrified, tears still gathered in his eyes, the boy made to run, only for aliens to suddenly tower over him, robotic legs propelling him faster than he could ever move, Zim roughly tackling him from behind and Tak following soon after.

Sinking his zipper-like jaw into Dib's neck, Zim ran his tongue across the boy's neck, just as Tak twisted him over, pressing her lips to his, her tongue darting into the human's mouth, pointed end flickering, slicing over miniscule cuts all across the deeper reaches of his mouth. Switching, the harassed the human, nipping and kissing him in turn, till the clouds gathered and thunder beckoned, heralding harsh winds and horrific weather.

Reluctantly pulling back, they skittered away, each a separated direction, still watching him sluggishly get to his feet, dazed and confused. Looking down at himself, he could barely comprehend the action of the two aliens, both seemingly male and female in a singular moment, fighting over the position of each.

Picking himself up, he stumbled home, barely coherent to recognize what had occurred. Later at night, when all was dark but the Membrane household, he'd sit there thinking.

Just thinking.

Of course, he would never tell anybody that he was think about who was the better kisser, but still thinking. The next day at Skool, Zim was a young green-skinned boy with a grating voice and megalomaniac speeches and Tak was a dark-hearted foreign girl of great wealth, no one ever mentioning the incident, Irken technology wiping the very conceptual idea of it from their feeble minds.

It was probably for the best. Who knows what they would have done to one up it if people had remembered.


End file.
